stranger than fiction

Porntour of the Day
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December 21, 2001

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i have seen the future of porn
and it's called the thrillhammer,
a customized orgasm-inducing chair
into which a model is strapped,
close-up camera and variable action
vibrator controlled by an internet user
for $3.99/minute. Or you can purchase
the home unit for therapeutic use, yours
for $60,000, just in time for christmas.

i was there with dave, source of much
of my life's adventure & excitement,
on a soundstage in ballard where
24 hours earlier 3 shaved models
demo'd the chair for a promo,
Sugarlips's head floating above it.

"oh my god, what path are we on?"
dave asked in his half-laughing way.
"i dunno, but there's a man here
with horns and pointy ears."
it was only allen, of course, the entre-
preneur inventor, in his Sugarlips persona,
but try explaining that to St. Peter--
"It was just latex and spirit gum, I swear!"