some asshole is talking shit behind your back

Shitter of the Day
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August 14, 2002

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So, this was my schtick: I took a shit in the shower, right into a plastic quart yogurt container, capped it tight and placed in refrigerator so it wouldn't be so volatile. Later, latex gloves on, I molded the excrement into patties, balls, kebabs, and sausage-like bits to pose in burger, spaghetti, shish, and pizza. I photographed the faux food and brought it to Fred Meyer, the "local" mega department store whose bakery scans your pix and prints them with soy ink on sugar paper for cake decorating. They were nice enough to scan some dollars, too--twenties, ones, and fives. The show took place at Vital 5, where thanks to Steven Bradford, 2 women and 1 man were painted with edible colors and circulated, feeding people dried bananas and Jeez-o Shots--red vodka gelatin chilled in crucifix molds--as well as inviting patrons to lick the flavored pigment off their bodies. The money was torn to pieces and distributed on a silver "Give us this day our daily bread" platter, the act of eating money being the evening's tastiest bit of subversion. Other artists contributed edible creations, including a jelly bean portrait, spicy meat pistol, beautiful slender mushrooms in sake test tubes, jigg'alot ziggurat, and an armageddon melon which depicted in its illuminated interior the effects of a nuclear blast on a civilian population. My idea was to auction off my shitty meat pictures and eat the ones which did not sell, but I consumed too much alcohol and forgot all about that. Thanks to Greg Lundgren for the invitation to use the space and everyone who contributed and participated, without whom nothing would have happened.