i'd rather walk

Picture of the Day
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August 17, 2001

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by Mr. Charles Simic

To get into it
As it lies
Crumpled on the floor
Without disturbing a single crease

Of the way I threw it down
Last night
The way it happened to land

Almost managing
The impossible contortions
Doubling back now
Through a knotted sleeve

Up late reading last night, deciding what to sell and what to keep, came across this Simic poem and it somehow spoke to me, reminded of that rainy night driving with Andrew and Andi to see a mediocre movie during whose climactic scenes I could not concentrate, having as I did to pee.

The books are lovely, dusty and deep, with thoughts carefully arranged as vases, family crystal untouched for years, Mom with cancer, Babi losing her mind, it fell to me to clean out the house, lifting crystal, music tinkles, the undusty circle for the first time in decades breathes.

So I feel knotted up, doubling back, all these boxes so long languished in 5x5 storage closet in Baltimore, retrieved in rented minivan, midsummer heat, 6,500 miles driven in 12 days, all in the service of ink on page. Steinbeck, Corso, Burroughs, good bye, you've all been so very good to me...