November 12, 1996
The nuclear technician was stoned,
almost forgot his chart when it was time
to go home, after the two students
were unimpressed by the poems
b/c they had too many type-os,
who knew what they wanted
and knew that what they wanted
wasn't to be confused or intrigued,
didn't want to have to ask,
What does it mean?
November 18, 1996 1:15 a.m.
After diving deep for fork & knife
I come up to applause, the shark
is destroyed. The football game
is being decided in the final seconds,
home team cut in half (vertically),
hopping cross-sections of guts & tubing;
at first they don't trust me,
but I cheer them on, "You're beautiful
& strong!" I pour the juice
and stain my shirt. My new girl-
friend is fined, stands sullen
in the sunset woods.
December 18, 1996 7:00 a.m.
I dreamt a cathedral
over the years
w/ a mad immortal organist
& flooded basement
w/ faceless frogmen
swimming by feel,
then lights and alarms,
smashing all the porcelain
but for the penguin
to offer as a bribe
as pocket Napoleons die;
the organist takes a check,
it's what he needs to survive
April 1, 1997 7:00 a.m.
Libby arrives, tired, for a visit,
having stayed up all night,
sex w/ a man & woman.
She wants to get it on w/ Lynn,
but I'm nervous about my operation,
to remove the scrotal growth
now bigger than a walnut.
Oh, doctor, can't you fit me in?
I'm driving and bike-riding
through Maryland w/ Lynn,
back tire going flat b/c of the rim.
We decide to drive as we're
crossing a rail bridge.
Everyone's watching, the train
misses us by inches.
Still a ways to go, running
out of time, I suffer visions of Andrea.
April 2, 1997 7:05 a.m.
A whole crowd's gathered
at a restaurant in Prague
but Andrea & I take off
in search of blues CD
emblazoned w/ a frog.
April Fool's, Good Morning America,
in the basement we rig a joybuzzer,
alligator clip to nipple, waiting
for the cops upstairs, Babi didders
wanting to take a picture,
she waves the camera w/out
looking through it. I run
down to plug in the buzzer
cz none of the outlets upstairs
fit; there are cats in the basement.
I play a little ball w/ a couple of kids,
impress them with my arm but I
can't believe it's been 15 years.
April 4, 1997 3:10 a.m.
"people know this
when they been sleepin'..."
A bleeding dog looking to nurse
will be picked up by the police
New light blue sweater for mother.
She is proud among her friends
I just want to get it on
w/ the Hyper chick
who has small breasts
Trade show NIBBL demo,
I take money for them,
McFadden answers the phone
'bonjourno', Rodman gets
tangled in Jordan's flowing
April 4, 1997 6:05 a.m.
Paris was at first a letdown,
volcanic rock protruding from brown sea,
sunbathers and seaworms--
12-foot red snakes halfway to evolving
onto land--turtles w/ no shells,
and tourists of every tongue
mocking my taxonomy.
We swim against the current;
my nose has some leaks.
I'm troubled by seaweed.
The jetskis are yellow strap chairs,
dix milles francs for the rental.
Do let's, I say to Chet--when's
the next time we'll be in Paris?
April 8, 1997 3:37 a.m.
Responsible for dog & duck
I was to settle the werewolf question
knowing it would take a big cat
to scare the man growing sideburns
on front lawn waiting to get my mom
who was interrupting the movie
April 8, 1997 5:30 a.m.
In Colorado beach resort
waves break high against
restaurant window after
I'm separated from Tom Murray
old ladies take pictures with me
before weather settles and we
board ferry, lying flat
to keep it steady on the open
water between Florida and Georgia.
Boat grows bigger, a floating party,
with Carrie Ann & Cindy,
multiple decks but we're docked.
Frat boys leap on dares & bets
& the highest one comes up bloody.
April 18, 1997 4:00 a.m.
KT and John drive past Babi's
She's on stoop to pick up paper
"come back by 7:30 tomorrow;
I have to be in the stream"
(she means street). KT turns
wrong way, we end by A&S,
camera on backseat, a man
leans in window. Light
turns green, KT peels away.
Before I know it, John & I
are spilled into intersection,
catch up to the car, a bikecop
says it was wrong of me to stop
to pick up rubberbands.
Isn't it litter? I ask,
looking at my scraped hands.
April 18, 1997 6:10 a.m.
Meeting Chet in NY
I cross Verrazano
on foot during marathon,
stop in gift shop for disposable
cameras. A woman w/ her secretary
claims no credit card but can she
have an application, claiming
her name is Nadia Springer.
I ask for her card, explaining I'm
a commercial printer, then tell
counterwoman to call the cops.
I say right on to women
on skates, then when Grover shows
I hold her aloft.
April 21, 1997 7:30 a.m.
at a party for sophisticated folks
the black tree surgeon got the blonde
& another in the basement
which we watched through a little
window. The woman I thought
was hot would have nothing to do w/ me
and a big clock ran backwards
where the papers blew off the table
April 25, 1997 9:00 a.m.
all the world's
is so picturesque
talkin' w/ a veteran
& his wife who
on the last happy day
of her life
wore a clown nose
to hide her own (broken)
& I rode w/ a dwarf
on the boxcar's roof
when the circus came to town
April 30, 1997 1:55 a.m.
moving from uninhabited dorm room,
I empty bookshelves filling boxes
in the dark, unable to read the #
of the people meant to help me.
John comes back from fishing,
too tired to help, & climbs
into top bunk which is only inches
above mine; no sleep for me.
The Asian med student threatens karate
when we argue over the last cup of coffee;
maybe he's bluffing. When he's not looking,
I hit him with a cucumber that knocks off
all his kernels and kills him; a colleague
observes sadly, "Blunt trauma to head."
In the courtyard, sweaty men
break boards & bricks,
roll in dust ecstatic with lust
& gangbang Michael Pallin,
who's been posing as Leather
in search of laughs; the digital
camera readout projected on bedroom wall,
images of each taking a turn asMichael screams.
I can't remember the name of the bar I'm in
but I recognize the patrons;
I say hello to one named John.
Something goes wrong, I'm attacked by dogs.
My sister is bitten. With bloody hands
she outlines a courtroom plan as the owners
swear revenge over her calling the pound.
As I run uphill, Michael Pallin feigns
shortwindedness as he pedals his motorcycle
so he can fall behind & watch me.
I get the care I need & inquire about the biopsy.
An intern or angel w/ big teeth says not to worry,
the doctors here aren't looking for just any disease.
We ride around a side of Ithaca I've never seen,
the angel my guide as I admire the scenery.
It goes from bright blue afternoon to billowing
clouds rising from the ground,
shockwave that knocks everyone down,
a scene remembered from previous dreams.
I fall to the ground embracing a stranger,
reciting a poem from the memory of the moment
as it unfolded: "going back to the heaven
of nothingness, the only bliss is in being
before one is born...ten million years."
Disappointed not to die,
I stand amid the rubble & resilient rebuilding
sad to see it will be a slow death for me.
I wasn't polite to the Dave Kroll-like administrator
of fresh air & pills in air-locked lab w/ windows
on the devastation, so it was out with me to deal
w/ radiation poisoning & the traffic of humanity.
Along the road I read the pills don't work anyway.
The vending machines are empty; all that's there now
are plastic soldiers--blue women in dresses
with red dogs on leashes. Throat closing,
I try to drink but it doesn't work. A woman
w/ blistered lips & swollen tongue protruding
passes by, offers advice: don't get mustard on it.
I echo what might be her last words & mine:
I won't get mustard on it.
It is the end of time.
May 5, 1997 4:45 a.m.
Hempstead living room
I watch beginning of
gangster movie for ump-
teenth time tho' I've
never seen the end,
scene where hero meets
tough guy with whistle
tied to his tongue; thug
demonstrates by blowing it,
as if to hail cab--"saves time."
I invite Lynn over
for next evening, Thursday,
assuring her my mother
is visiting Minnesota.
I fantasize about her
as I go down on myself,
surprised by my newfound
flexibility I consider, Why
think of anyone else?,
big black TV on my desk.
I never see how the
May 5, 1997 6:45 a.m.
a slender pubescent girl
w/ TV-induced eating disorder
takes a bite of a waffle
then spits it in sink
Her family admires her hips;
she's got a future in modeling.
May 7, 1997 7 a.m.
Successful shows wow a 79-year-old
who shows me a map with an X
for everywhere shes been.
The mermaid mother of my lover
"I smell like fish."
A passerby loved my graph
of revolutionary math:
7 x 4 = 28. "Genius," he gasped.
May 18, 1997 4:07 a.m.
woke up terrified
on dark beach
packed my bag
in a hurry
just as water reached
Libby & me
May 21, 1997 7:00 a.m.
lightweight crew coach
warned of winter sprinklers
but Im caught anyway
hopping fences on my way
back to outdoor gym set-up
where large men compare muscles
& Im covered with icicles
May 21, 1997 7:00 a.m.
met a guy w/ a band
we went to a bar
on the sidewalk we talked
he asked do I like the beats
the place was a dive
the tender said no pictures
but I kept forgetting
& ordered a scotch
I looked at their zine
& video so impressed
by the concept of a record
changing hands in odd
circumstances. "I like
the element of concealment"
I told my new friends
"Yeah, we didnt even mean it."
Dressed in masks & paper bags,
I met them at a corner
where theyd been waiting
for a witness.
May 22, 1997 6:05 a.m.
a monument to the Statue of Liberty
on the Jersey Shore, seen behind
scaffolding as I came down the road.
This spade is mine, I explained
to a crusty construction worker.
See, I chipped the blade on sidewalk ice.
He wouldnt let go, said the sticker showed
it belonged to the state.
Hardly worth arguing, I photograph the progress:
billowing tarps, two women & their dogs,
and a souvenir statue on the sill in the foreground.
May 23, 1997 6 a.m.
The wind wont let me close the door,
someone shows with a baggie of weed
purchased across the street.
The living room is empty,
theyre in the kitchen,
no ones talking to me.
On the schoolbus ride over
everyone had their own seat but me;
the guy behind asked me to move forward
to have more room for his feet.
I get a job in toy store security,
show for work stoned feeling
America is vomiting on me.
May 24, 1997 8:29 a.m.
I was down w/ Arlo
b/c of my haircut & my camera.
Looking through the back window
of the wagon I begged KT
to stop so I could photograph
the slanting rays of sunset
orangely illuminating the smokestack,
but the lens & body were misplaced;
by the time I reached the top
of the steps the sky was grey.
The guests scattered when the alarm
went off at the party, but over
the intercom the paramedics
admitted it was their mistake.
June 6, 1997 4:30 a.m.
Front seat w/ Chet & Tom
in John's blue Dodge,
I get what Chet had,
vomit out window
& shit in my pants.
Tom pulls into mall
parking lot complaining
of the smell but I
let loose again trying
to stop it with my hand,
spraying brown all over
the shampooed interior
on our faces & hair.
Sitting in the middle
with a Buddha twinkle
Chet says, I told you
I am easily amused.
Looks like we'll wait a while
at the next light--an old woman
in simple frock holds a cardboard
woman-in-simple-frock sign aloft,
the head of an Irish parade.
June 7, 1997 2 a.m.
I shaved off my goaty by mistake
(right before the party!) & suspected
it was just a dream,
but standing w/ the razor
I was afraid to nick myself
to prove I was asleep.
June 7, 1997 3:04 a.m.
dog behind glass door,
ancient fridge in hall,
sticker on its side claims
this furnace burns silently
in basement apartment
across from beach
where wave retreats
leaving wet sand in street
to mark ocean's imminent encroachment.
The tide's come in all of a sudden
knocking cops down & tumbling druggies.
fuck fuck fuck I hear people calling
before I realize it is the helicopters taking off
from where cookie cutter sandcastle buildings
have been erected for children to play in.
The cop picks his shades up off the sand
& everyone runs w/out dignity from the water,
brown & angry from storms at sea, as I'm carried
by a away on a pink concrete pedestal where
I happened to have perched warning everybody,
Watch your feet!
June 9, 1997 early a.m.
setting up an easy downslope shot
for my mother to mock her miniature
golf ability she swings too hard
drives 100 yds. for a hole-in-one
on real course second green.
All the golfers bow in awe
and she responds with a curtsey.
July 8, 1997 6:10 a.m.
i spin out of control
in an almost-swamped dinghy
on a polluted river
w/ fish bones floating
& weeds dying from dirty
when sister pulls me back by toe
to shore where mother says
she already sent me money
& Andrea's foreign friend
tells of getting filthy in Vegas
where a woman coming out of toilet
said, "There are your potatoes!"
"I wouldn't mind fishing this river,
catch and release," I say
after glimpsing giant sunfish
through the murk.
January 12, 1998 11:13 a.m.
Inside there was a waterfall,
a radio landed wet in my hands.
How odd to see a mountain
on the wrong side of the glass.
January 21, 1998 8:00 a.m.
A celebration in a warehouse
C-notes hidden in a cave
jigsaw puzzle disarrayed
I'm late for my party after karate,
a man shows how walking up a wall
is a matter of touch
& Tom Murray's ex- gives me a kiss.
The railyard is locked and walking
thru woods our good friend flips,
starts killing the group in the warehouse, the chase is on...
On my way to escape I'm scared in the stairwell
by the wandering woman w/ a wax hand
whose very presence instills a deep sense of shame.
The murderess is finished for the day
leaves hieroglyph warnings on the wall
as survivors pile into a waiting car they're startled
by a man who claims to be the son of MLK
and we find a book inscribed by the killer
thanking "the second half" w/out whom the next round
of murders wouldn't happen
February 4, 1998 3:00 a.m.
Will the Beatles outlive Jesus?
Only if He delivers on his promise
enough eternal reward to go around
there's no reason for God to get greedy
but They've been lording it over us
living in the shadow of the gallows
that crucifix around your neck
a gold-plated execution
could be your literal noose
February 6, 1998 8:00 a.m.
Stone etched with her name
the outcome of a beach wish
become but one in a wall to which
I try to rub the letters away
leading to favors from a witch
who puts the power of blue in
my fingers to overpaint the gold
and the hovering hand pauses
to remember a name
April 9, 1998 3:45 a.m.
I was in love w/ a woman
whose pedigree was true
to the last hair on her asshole
tho' she drove a Pinto.
"I love you," I said after
I'd opened a new deck of cards.
"You're human after all."
"You mean I'd never said it?"
"Not until now. But then neither had I."
A knock at the door,
Russians who shoot twice
cz I'm of no use to them (it is wartime).
I take it in the elbow but fall down
hoping they'll think I am dead,
this door-to-door business of death
leaves ample room for error.
But something is pulled over my head
& I learn where the 2nd bullet went
as life gushes black out of my mouth.
We'd lived through earthquake,
fireworks, enemy attack together
for me to die w/ cards laid out on the floor.
It was well worth a bullet in the head
to be in love again--
even if only for thirty seconds.
April 24, 1999 4:30 a.m.
I dreamt I dreamt a man wearing
angel wings walking on a cloud
I woke from the dream within a dream
to write (still in the dream)
You say men can't walk on clouds
b/c you've never seen it done
and thought I must have the DTs because
I saw the same clouds through my bedroom window
the same man in angel wings and now
a woman in bathing suit catching rays
on their cloud-camouflaged roof. I ran
outside to see the cloud-adorned building
next door which I'd never noticed before.
The only way you could tell it was fake
was the occasional open window and its stillness
when the rest of the sky moved behind it.
Sarah said, "You notice the impact of the urban landscape."
I ran in to get my camera but when I came out it had gone
dark with rain and lightning split the sky not far away.
Despite the thunder the Cloud Building--
which it turns out had been built for a movie--remained white.
I ducked back inside but our building was now a hospital.
My grandmother came down the hall in a wheelchair
begging me to cut her toenails. I took off down a corridor.
My big white shoes made it look as if I worked there.
Rich white kids pick up a drunk-driving Puerto Rican
and beat him with his camera in the back seat of their convertible.
They've shaved his eyebrows and his swollen eyes are slits.
They're about to play "twist the stick" when we're distracted
by a visit to the Bat Cave. The Boy Wonder is really young
and hides around a corner in a maze populated by
Battlestar Galactica Cylons, Planet of the Apes apes,
and other sci-fi creatures shooting darts with plunger tips.
I throw the darts back at them. All I have is the rich kids'
bowl in my pocket which I hope will pass for a utility belt.
Cooper's there after having eaten pizza and I bum a ride back
to Jersey City where the Cloud Building is near the corner
where he parked, but before we go he asks if I know
how to get to Kew Gardens.
April 28, 1999 7:00 a.m.
I've been dreaming beaches of late,
long visits to oceans of big waves,
surf's up and I'm there with Chet,
eyes closed underwater thinking
just go with the flow, you can't fight
the current and we come up for air
washed up in the same place
June 3, 1999 10:00 a.m.
apocalyptic party for the rich on a roof in East Village
gangstas dressed by Calvin Klein I was in Hempstead
when the missiles were launched--conventional weapons
they assured us, & while the rest went into the attic to hide from mobs
I went into stripped basement to hide from bombs.
My long-dead and now legless grandfather fell out of the closet--
I speak to him in Czech, appropos death I ask, "What happened?"
Now he's just a head on the floor trying to speak
but he can't--he's been silent too long.
At the party I piss in a sink, flames leap up from
an old gas stove in kitchen as host prepares the meal.
A woman in black veil shows me the phone
and in the courtyard an old man and I discuss
the Great Depression which we both assume will happen again.
Edison, Ford, & Firestone, I tell him, celebrated the 50th
anniversary of the lightbulb on Oct. 24, 1929, a dramatic
re-enactment of the invention played out in the rebuilt workshop,
transplanted for the occasion to Dearborn, MI.
June 14, 1999 5:30 a.m.
I had the most wonderful dream
about the Human League.
They were playing
concert for Chet and me
in a hardwood-floored hangar
by an indoor sea.
With every gesture
of the singer
a visible note vaulted the air
and hit the water in synchrony.
The notes became a swarm
of origami swans
that wing-to-wing assembled
itself into tie-dyed sheets
that, held by dancers
like a grade school parachute,
unfurled and billowed to the beat.
July 6, 1999
dreamt where i was
got a little more perfect
made the most of their talent .
woke up with the moon
looking into my bedroom
rainbow spectrum of sunrise
smearing the sky
March 14, 2000 10:00
radio controlled helicopter
i'm supposed to meet her someplace
maybe Providence, the kid next door
to the country club says I'm cool
"Yeah, well, you can't live life
with one foot in the future."
They found the woman in the
bathing cap facedown in the water;
she'd been that way an hour.
May 15, 2000 4:00 a.m.
swimming between rocks with Mom,
the close shore looks distant in the haze.
many children in water with us all vying
for same passage but we cut left
and make it with ease
January 30, 2001 8:20 a.m.
the old man was looking
for an explanation
to why we age -- it came down
to the vibrations of grasping.
We stood in the woods,
leaves the color of rusty monkeybars
on which we played. He collapsed suddenly.
'Can you breathe?' I asked.
he convulsed and gasped.
i checked for a pulse.
my own heart was pounding so hard
i couldn't tell if it was his or mine.
i pumped his chest once, then again.
he came around and i held him,
both of us crying. 'i love you,' i said.
tears in his eyes, he replied,
'tomorrow i'll give you a Present.'
March 28, 2001 8:47 a.m.
Ronald Reagan in a wheelchair
by his pool in Malibu falls in
and doesn't even know it,
floats there facedown in a bathrobe
until his dark-skinned manservant
pulls him to the side, up and out
November 6, 2001 8:42 a.m.
i'm in afghanistan
taking a cab
to the water
(OK, it's a dream)
where the Navy
seems to be in
a big hurry
I get out,
to the cabbie,
tears in our eyes
as we wish
each other peace.
Instead of troops,
it's regular people
there to march for peace
along with a lot
Food is provided
and i sit
with Walter Cronkite
and Kurt Vonnegut,
the former surprising
me with his wit
when, hearing a groan,
"That's the sound
He hands me a
videotape of old
Marty Krofft shows
and i think,
"I'll give these
to John King."
Then there's a screening
of an interactive Exorcist,
Walter and I answer
a riddle by putting together
a mock cancer drug
commercial. A 3-D cubic
Rubik's Cube possessed,
and the peaceful
continue to land,
nothing to fear
but fear itself...
november 28, 2001 7:10 a.m.
in a dollar store in new york
i buy toy soldiers, a box for $5.50,
green plastic GIs and blue japanese
w/ long fingers & toes, webbed almost,
made less than human by the manufacturer.
there's icebergs in the harbor,
a security camera over my shoulder
where we sit to eat, lakeside in the mountains.
i sing about the pioneers who arrived
when it was dry but overnight rains
persuaded them to stay, created the lake.
i click off the camera but it comes back to life,
walks around on remote control tripod legs
and barks like a dog. we ride a bus out of there.
i forget my suitcase on board and going back
to get it it splits open and i search for a strap.
we're north of where we want to be
with an hour and a half to wait...
june 25, 2002 3:00 a.m.
when they started
rounding people up
to internment camps,
the TV made it seem
they went voluntarily.
it was a human interest
piece, w/ prisoners
laughing in back seats,
holding up their chains
as if to say, how silly!
they acted drunk, were
probably drugged, and
one went backwards
july 30, 2002 8:50 a.m.
dreamt i went
back in time
a year from
present - altho
present in this
case was 3
years past -
Mom was alive
but just barely,
a one-piece suit
beet red & bloated
@ the beach.
it was good to
be w/ her again,
2 months before
her Aug '99 death
august 9, 2002
puking was my excuse
to sneak out of there.
being wired for vidcams
is no way to be in a
strip club and they were
about to catch on - i
hadn't done a very
good job. the guy
selling hats & shirts
knew and hinted he
wanted a payoff. i was
in the toilet trying to hide
the gear when i blew,
face numb, a little red &
brown puke. i staggered out
a side exit. in the squalid
alley a man was making his
home. i apologized for the
interruption. man, he said,
the whole scenario is
August 20, 2002
in a dream
November 20, 2002
at the doctor, the nurse
gives me the eye, stretches
& curls like a cat
on the examining table,
big eyes looking up at me.
when she reaches for some-
thing in the cabinet, her
body presses against mine.
maria. i touch white stocking-
ed leg and am complete.
December 25, 2002
pope closeup, black-and-white surveillance,
backstage before an appearance, android-like,
encased in mobile life support, lights up
a Disney cigarette with the logo very apparent,
tip burning slowly towards it. he makes his way
to the podium, so sweet, bulletproof, infallible,
he wipes the ash on his fingers behind his back
where no one will see it...
January 7, 2003
the navy had a kicking machine,
a row of can-can legs for
drowning sailors to see
a folded paper bag
2 glass sheets
January 10, 2003
being taught to ride a horse
i have trouble with the stirrups
and as we go along the horse
and i get to talking &
decide it's only fair that
we trade places. she turns
human and rides me piggyback
until we catch up with the others
and she's a horse again &
no one believes i carried her
in a play, i eat a sandwich
and sing about cheese on my
lips. afterwards, i scrounge
chocolate bread in an alley,
it's jamaica, and i make my way
to the train station, skyscrapers
in the distance, the conductor's
blowing bubbles and the cop
looks nervous. my bag's on board
but i'm not when it pulls away.
i give chase to no avail.
March 5, 2003 3:33 a.m.
2 the bottom
like the ocean
hung out w/
me some lix
the next thing
was an SNL skit.
at some point
i start saying
get out get out
in a scary voice
and my whole
I ask "is this
in the script?"
then i really am
wait a minute.
he goes off
scared & i
October 14, 2003 6:30 a.m.
"we are evaporating,"
i wrote in a dream
quoting a movie i'd seen
in that same dream.
Babi called to be picked up
from the airport. Mom was
in need of moral support.
the whole house in Hempstead
was lifted by floodwaters.
i typed an urgent plea for help
as trees bumped against
the windows, a raging storm.
i pulled the wet paper from
the typewriter--it was torn.
"What airport?" i asked Mom.
she was confused, couldn't answer.
"JFK, NWK, LGA," I explained,
"these are the airports close to New York."
she couldn't say. into this mess
entered Lynn, looking beautiful
in a dress on her way to a party
for Steve Anderson.
earlier, my sister and I
had been riding a sliding
park bench downhill until
a mean kid kicked my yellow
plastic skateboard and broke it.
"we are evaporating," i wrote,
quoting, trying hard to re-
member the rest of it...
December 26, 2003 8:15 a.m.
had to go back to high school again to finish some credits tho i'd
been avoiding it
most of the year. i dressed poorly, unshaven, i didn't care what the other students
thought of me. i was in hempstead, made my way to holy trinity where i decided i
wouldn't say much to anyone. 4th floor locker, i took wheelchair-friendly escalator,
combo was 8-8-8-2 and there was very little in it. 1st period was religion w/ mr. torti,
i'm already late, room 212 (schedule taped in back of notebook), i stood outside the
room--they were watching Power Rangers. how stupid, i thought, but as i watched
i saw something in it, the monster arisen from the ooze, how they fought it, their
weapon hit it, the wound spread like a cancer. i decided to quit. i had nothing more
to fear from high school. i went to the office to make sure but they were backed up
so i just said fuck it--i already had my BA and masters, what's the worst they could
do? back home, dishes piled in the sink, my mother fought with my sister, knife and
fingernails, i got b/t them and broke it up. enough!
April 27, 2004 early a.m., pre-dawn
dream was of guillotine,
the bloody theater of
tyranny, each act
more gruesome than
the last, the worst was
the beautiful queen.
no one was safe, not
even her son, who dared
suggest the brutality
had gone far enough.
she approaches him:
Even a prince needs
to watch what he says.
She stabs him 40 times
--miraculously, he does
not die, staggers, hugs
her, vomits on her and
drags himself off stage.
in the actors' shower
room she congratulates
him on his star role. You
know this is your show,
he says. Embracing
him under the flowing
water, she says, Yes....
January 26, 2005 about 6:30 a.m., rising for work
some friends and i
took george bush hostage
to teach him a lesson
September 21, 2005
Adria cutting up $100 bill
something like origami
captured on camera
someone walks in
postering for COBRA
i put a CD in, take
Herb Alpert off, he
hands me a knife
with show info, i ask
is this printed or
done by hand?
thrifting w/ craig, we smoke & drink
he leaves chewy candy half eaten
on surfaces, a carousel in one room,
human-powered, i give 4 women a spin,
Rob Millis stages and films one-hour
surrealist film in UW gym, it's
meant to be funny and largely is.
Jesse points at newspaper saying
random disassociated bulletins,
a stuffed purple parrot is attempting
to fly, i suggest we wear everyone's
glasses one at a time to do impersonations....
Quality Inn, 1901 W. Olympic, L.A.
October 1, 2005
I was going to be on TV
maybe with Bill Tuffy
a man was wrestling
an alligator -- it
turned into a bear
there was a math equation
the log sine or something
i played dumb, asked if
"Weyerhauser" was the answer
a metal song played: SHE'S...
TOO -- MA -- TURE!