site index

Picture of the Day
yesterday | today | tomorrow

Wednesday
March 9, 2011

subscribe   about



please note: .mp3 audio should begin automatically,
allowing you to practice your English in follow-along fashion.
thank you for your kind attention and best wishes for all satisfaction.
please forgive the strange punctuation. it helps computer enunciate better.


hollywood script
. ... ... ...

it was terrible.
the government
had been hijacked
by lying goons
who dragged the country
into wars of aggression
under false pretenses

they stole 2 consecutive
elections and removed
all the niceties of life
which people had forgotten
were the essence of freedom

so them asses bought bumper stickers
by the millions pledging their support,
and paid monthly premiums for tracking
devices that they voluntarily wore

but then after 8 fraught years
democracy won out! a landslide
win for a candidate so good and pure.
men, women, young and old alike
voted him in. amid universal adulation

so no one believed me when i said
his finger was twitching on the button

the people had made the mistake
of taking his righteous pose seriously
so when they saw he'd sold them out
they pressed their bodies against the capital

marble buildings began to budge at their touch...
his worried advisors warned of earthquake weather.
so, they started planning the next distraction--
one that would scare the shit. out. of. everyone.

the missiles were ready. all that was left was to pick a target.
the leader stayed up all night with a map and some darts.

who could get close enough to avert disaster?
only i! his long lost identical twin brother.

i will start with his wife, convince

her i'm every inch alike except i
hold to my ideals and dream of
universal freedom and justice.

next, i win over the secret service
by. hosting keggers in my office.

then an urgent call to the generals:
Aliens are massing for attack on Mars!
All of Earth's armies must launch immediately

only their bands remain. to play a salute
as the one-way rockets disappear in the sky

so that's the plan
and you gotta believe me

there is no time
there is no time