a veritable worm free for all

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Sunday
January 6, 2000


After three days in Baltimore flat on my back with the flu I finally felt well enough to catch up on email...
To: SCHMECK@gogoweb.com
Date: Fri, 31 Dec 1999 16:30:03 -0600
X-MSMail-Priority: Normal
X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V4.72.3110.3

You have no musical talent, but you've found a new toy that lets you engage in mental masturbation and you think you've conceived something novel. The result is a collection of nonsense clips that are no better than the stuff I come up with on the sound recorder of my PC. I'm disappointed --- I expected these clips to show some imagination, at the very least.

<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD W3 HTML//EN">
<HTML>
<HEAD>
<META content=text/html;charset=iso-8859-1 http-equiv=Content-Type>
<META content='"MSHTML 4.72.3110.7"' name=GENERATOR>
</HEAD>
<BODY bgColor=#ffffff>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=2>You have no musical talent, but you've found a new toy that lets you engage in mental masturbation and you think you've conceived something novel.&nbsp; The result is a collection of nonsense clips that are no better than the stuff I come up with on the sound recorder of my PC.&nbsp; I'm disappointed --- I expected these clips to show some imagination, at the very least.</FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>
Well, that hurt. It's amazing what a few harsh words from a stranger can do to affect one's mood. I actually felt it somewhere between my chest and stomach, sadness and pinched feelings which made me want to lash out and write a really cutting reply. I tried one line, then another, and realized how that was only intensifying my anger, not releasing it. Anger hadn't been my initial response, but it grew out of my desire to hurt someone as they had hurt me. Once I stopped trying to hurt, I stopped being angry. Weird.

My cutting edge Eudora Light 1.01 email client places attachments at the bottom of messages, so I hadn't noticed the attachment at first. Here, apparently, was an example of what SCHMECK was no better than...


Attachment Converted: C:\OnePine\Attach\squawkbox.wav

I listened to it and replied:
From: zveRina rob@zverina.com
Date: Thursday, January 06, 2000 12:33 PM
Subject: anger, rage, rancor

Hey, I like squawkbox. Thanks for sharing.

Keep making music--maybe it will purge some of your hostility.

Better to mentally masturbate than infect others with hate...

I expected either no reply or another flame. Instead...
To: "zveRina" rob@zverina.com
Subject: Re: anger, rage, rancor
Date: Thu, 6 Jan 2000 14:06:50 -0600

Sorry, I was in a bad mood that day. Thanks for your very civil reply. I'm glad you liked squawkbox. Keep making musical novelties. To tell you the truth, I love mental masturbation. It feels good, and you don't need a towel afterwards.
That made me feel nice. I had curbed my kneejerk response to lash out at that which hurt with more hurt, keeping to my resolution to spread the positive love vibration in the twenty-hundreds and beyond, and the result was a ripple effect of good feeling instead of intensifying negativity. So next time you're on the road and someone cuts you off, instead of shooting them, smile and blow them a kiss. Do it like you mean it and you will.